This is most unlike me but I've been tense all night. THIS IS SERIOUSLY CRAZY !!!

Hope you're all ok and safe. My heart goes out to the victims (and I didn't just type that- for once it really does. I can actually feel something)

Anyone who knows me would say I am fairly argumentative. I don't take that as a complement. Or an insult. Its just what comes naturally to me. Argument.

Somewhere, deep inside my brain, is the belief that I am smarter than you. And everytime you say something , seemingly obvious, - like "You know what ? We really should do something to control this global warming thing", to me, I interpret it as this "You know what? (of course you don't you ignorant sumbitch) We (and that would include YOU - moron) really should do something to control this global warming thing (because left to yourself you wouldn't, but now you would because I am smarter and I told you so)"

At this point I am most likely to break into a diatribe about how global warming is a farce. "We never really know for sure. Maybe Al Gore just made it up. What about the economy? People(whom I usually don't care for) matter more than the planet." Make derisive comments about you being a pot-smoking tree hugger.Etc etc etc.

Even though, I saw An Inconvenient Truth 3 times. Even though,I evangelize green living otherwise. At that moment it won't matter. I just HAVE to prove that I'm smarter.

All of this, I can live with. What's really troubling is that after a while -people don't like talking to people like me !And then I'm left arguing with myself.

So while I am driving to work today, I get this amazing fantasy that I will be discovered to be the 'best number cruncher in the world' (I aim quite low in life). I see an image of the bosses at work running frantically (rather like Archimedes) after I have made a few pivots on an Excel file. Soon I will be thrust into a world of number-crunching stardom.I'll be solving the world's problems one Excel file at a time...! And before long, I'd have established a direct correlation between a Man's height and his chances of getting laid in life....

Just then, a little Shobhit voice inside me says,"If you really were the best number cruncher in the world, would you just peak at a pointless insight into ONE species' mating habits ? Good luck with that......"

Even though you turn one today, there is a fair bit of history behind how we came to be together.
I think the idea was born in me almost a few days after I moved to Delhi in 2006. I would goto the Priya and Saket complexes of the world and find something missing in my life. I started doing the due diligence and admittedly you were not the first choice. There were others - more glamorous and more covetable then you. But friends and family said you were the best for me and hence the decision was made.
Our first meeting was delayed by a few snags here and there and when I finally saw you, I was not sure how to react. But there you were - a new member of my life.
At first I was circumspect. I wasn't very confident with you and did not want to hurt you too bad. So, we took it slow. I insisted on having others around when you were there and we hardly spent any alone time.
But you - you made it so easy. There was never any glitch from you.No fuss, no mysteries. And by the 2nd, 3rd month we were regularly going to far away places together. It took a little more while for me to introduce you to people at work and make you part of my daytime existence but once that happened we became nearly inseparable.
And then last month, we went away outside the city together for the first time. And you were the same. I was so concerned how you would react alone out of the city but there was no change in you. My friends had good things to say about you as well. RIght then I knew that you were the right one for me !
We've had our problems sure. Initially, when I was not sure of myself around you I may have hurt you a little bit. But then, you know I never drink too much when you're around. I always take good care of you. And when I have to leave you alone, I always leave you in a safe place even if it means a little extra effort on my part.
Everytime somebody else has come close to hurting you I've been vocal about my displeasure. Countless allegations about his/her character and state of mind have been made. Only because I love you so much
You're not the high maintenance type but everytime you've needed something I've been prompt and taken care of you. And now, I don't know for sure if there will be a 2nd Anniversary for us. It makes me sad but that was the arrangement from the beginning. This was never a long term thing. There were bound to be others - for me, for you. But guess what ? You will ALWAYS be my first !!!

EDIT : Yeah, everyone this my car. I have never owned a bike or managed to drive one, sadly. I think its a fair commentary on my life that NOONE thought otherwise.Sigh